hers

.Wednesday, January 05, 2011 ' 7:42 PM

...

COME BACK

i made many mistakes in life. some i can make it up too. some cant.

one of them is letting JJ go. 8 months ago, when i was still working in M

ount Pleasant Animal Hospital, a bitch called Lim Nicola Tesha brought him in, wanting to put him down. he was just about 8 to 9 months old. he had skin problem, very rebellious. barks all the time, pee-ed everywhere. he isn't really an ideal pet for anyone. but he's young, innocent and healthy. my colleagues convinced me to adopt him. actually come to think about, i kinda had no choice, so anyways, we approached that bitch and she agreed to transfer me his ownership after a few months, after seeing that i am able to take care of him. that was the agreement.

now, after about 7 months later, she wanted to take him home for 3 days (initially), which i agreed too. she wanted a like, 'the last meet up to say goodbye' kinda thing. before passing her J, she asked me to give her a chance to take him back. i refused and things got really complicated.

i blame myself for being too soft. for letting her take him away from my arms. for being a lousy owner. she asked for another week after 2 days, i had no choice but to agree. and now, she doesnt want to return him to me. as i have expected. fuck myself for being so stupid.
what can i do? where can i turn to for help? i couldnt get her address because my colleagues said its against the company policy. forget about how close we use to be. forget about the times they were helping me to deal with her. forget about the friendship we had. i cant blame them. they're just doing their job. no one will know how attched i am to J, what we've been through. and i dont blame them for not knowing how it feels to be cheated and losing something you love so much.

he's not just a dog. he was always there for me when i felt alone. he was there for me when i was crying alone. when i wanted to leave, he was there to stop me all the time. he chewed off the letters i wrote to my dad, and friends. little things he did meant so much to me right now. his licks used to be so irritating. or his morning wake up calls. his barks. or times when he would like to get involved in everything i'm doing. and when he would run into the toilet when i want to take a shower. not forgetting when he desperately wants to sit on my lap when ever i'm shitting or using my com.

i wonder how is he now. i wonder if he misses me. i wonder if he would remember me.

i miss you..

his first week at home after sterilization